Which egghead is the worst

Fire it into the Sun. My suspicion, however, is that like my annoying preteen self, most people enjoyed Hole In The Wall ironically, and only then for a very limited period. The real issue with watching celebs in spandex trying to avoid an approaching Styrofoam block is that the novelty very quickly wears off and tedium sets in as the format becomes stale and predictable, no matter the status of the celebs or the shape of the wall in question. Simon Cowell, for all his faults, knows how to make compelling television, and Ant and Dec are pretty dependable when you want loveable, lightweight affability, operating at pretty much the peak of their powers by the turn of the decade.

Red Or Black? The problem with Red Or Black? It was soon scrapped in by a thoroughly indifferent general public. Why is Robert Kilroy-Silk presenting a quiz show? Why is this happening? They did it, they actually went and did it, they made a game show about an arcade machine. Maybe Time Crisis II as a quiz show was too much of a conceptual stretch, although the fact they made one about coins dropping from a shelf would perhaps render that statement moot. Tipping Point is pretty unavoidably awful: the questions are dull and far too easy, the contestants often have the personalities of slices of processed cheese, and the set is so garish and shiny it could induce a migraine from fifty paces.

Just remember that in the UK, you have to have a license fee to watch anything on television, commercial or otherwise, so some of your tax has gone towards constructing that machine, maintaining that machine, the electricity it costs to run that machine, the coins on that machine, everything. Dale Winton. Date Joined: 23 Sep Absolutely clueless on so many subjects Ask her a question on any middle class supported sport and the tumbleweed rolls across the screen!

Show More. I have warmed to her. But in fairness she is no Egghead. Ten years. The first round comes up and it's History.

I send James. Okay, so Chris isn't here, but this has still got to be weird for them, right? Five minutes of silence ensues as they set up. I notice Jeremy looking in my direction, muttering.

The round is rapid and difficult, not going well for James, who is downed by Beth. I'm fascinated with how, despite the fact he's sat in fake glasses and a rugby shirt, hair all over the place, scalp bleeding, acting like a possessed version of one of their Eggheads, nobody has said anything. The next round shows: it's Sports.

I want this, and I know who I'm going for. We're sat, discussing where Judith lives back in London, and I suggest we go for a drink sometime. She pulls that kind of playful Kenneth Williams shocked face only people born pre are capable of.

She answers correctly next — I actually give her a mini round of applause, which looks to confuse her — then we both get one wrong. Last question: if I get this right, the pressure is all on her. There are smiles on the Oobunch's faces when I return. James gives me a nuggy, which he's not once done in my 26 years of knowing him. The Eggheads look on, puzzled. He has to pick his Egghead. Anyone but Kevin, obviously. I don't know whether he's brave or stupid, but googling answers isn't going to save him now.

I'm unsure why, but seeing Ray prepare, the camera flittering between Kevin and he, I can't stop giggling. But both men are making easy work of the round until the third and final question, when I notice unsureness in Ray's eyes. I don't blame him — who on earth knows about the kids' animation Kubo and the Two Strings? Ray, evidently, as he scores three out of three.

We sit together, me digging my fingers into James' shoulder. Surely Kevin, the world's brightest quizzer, isn't going to choose Woody? We roar in the studio; Ray punches the air.

This Is Chaos. The producers and director look perplexed by our reaction. Ray powers back into the studio inappropriately and we embrace him; Kevin follows, head down like Charlie Brown, returning to the Eggheads — none of them say a word to him.

Weirdly, this puts us in the lead. The next round comes up, Geography. Whatever the subject, this is supposed to be Hannah, as we're keeping Andy for the final. Hannah can barely talk through nerves and presumable sleep deprivation, however, so Andy steps forth and chooses "Tremendous Knowledge" Dave.

The two loveable northern bastards go to battle on easily the hardest round in the whole game. After the opening three, all correct, we're expecting sudden death questions. Instead, Jeremy comments: "Looking great up there, Andy," smiling blankly, "a bit Cat Stevens…" Then the question comes. On which Channel Island is the River Yar? I don't even think the River Yar knows that. Andy guesses wrong with Anglesey. Dave is then asked a question so easy it sounds like a mistake.

Obviously, Paris. It's settled: the final will be 3v3. I take deep breaths. Let's fucking win this thing. The first question comes up: "What is the common phrase, 'A stitch in times saves…'". Obviously, we get it right. The Eggheads' reply with a correct answer. Again, correct. The third comes up: "Which Rolling Stones song starts with, 'She would never say where she came from…'? I mentioned earlier — you may even remember this — that the assembled Eggheads look like a pub quiz team.

This is in no way meant to belittle pub quiz teams. It was not always thus. Once upon a time, there was another Egghead. Cut from entirely different cloth, he was an Egghead defined by his otherness. You can already see how CJ might stick out on Eggheads — chiselled; self-adoring pseudonym — and on the Eggheads team.